Jealousy

A while back I tweeted about girls becoming territorial when sex becomes a factor rather boyfriend or not. This truth is becoming more and more evident in my life. I see all the time how people and the relationships they are in change after sex is involved. It's inevitable and quite natural especially for women. So let's get to the elephant in the room chilling in the corner---JEALOUSY.

It's a cruel and unwarranted thing yet so many suffer from it daily. Jealousy has a negative connotation but can be stemmed from normal, positive feelings. Think about it like this: If a boy or girl didn't like you and had no interest, they wouldn't care enough to be jealous. Be flattered if someone thinks enough of you to possess feelings of jealousy when another person gets your attention or overuse of smiley faces via Twitter. [insert laugh]

A verse by Wale says something along the lines of -a woman worth anger is worth your time- okay so I probably butchered that line which I'm good for but the point is: a person worth getting all jealous and territorial about is worth some good. :)

-FancyB

I am not my hair-or am I?

So lately I have been having a hair crisis. I want all kinds of different hair. I actually cut my own hair which I hate now! So I am thinking about wigs. What do you think?

I'M IN MIAMI TRIIIICCCKKK

Me and my girls took a trip to Miami. It was good and it was bad, but through it all it was fun! I wish to do such trips like this with my girls annually. I think things like that are good for friends to share with each other. They build memories and strengthen their bond.

Friendships are one of the most important types of relationships one can have. It is equally important for both people to make the friendship work. One of the great things about a true friendship is that no matter the miles in between or the lack of communication; uniting is like things never changed. I love my girls and we was all in MIAMI TRICK!

Welcome Back

I have been away too long. I need to let you in my thoughts. I need to let you in my world! So much has been going on. So I guess I'll say to myself, "Welcome back!" I don't plan to leave you alone for this long again. Sooooo, let's get it started!

#hereiGo

Top 10 Reason UNHAPPY Couples Stay Together

Number 10: they cut off all their friends and cut buddies and dont wanna start from scratch! *burning bridges*

Number 9: don't want to be like their friends and/or relatives whose relationships were unsuccessful *thought yall was better than them*

Number 8: one or both parties feel guilty for previous wrongdoings *well....i DID cheat on him b4 so its okay that he just beat my ass* lol

Number 7: We love each other, so we SUPPOSED to be together *love is NOT the super glue to relationships! be clear*

Number 6: One or both parties benefits materialistically *I cant leave him. He keep my nails and hair done & make sure $$ in my pocket*

Number 5: Most people rather BE with someone and be unhappy, than happy and ALONE *at least I'll have someone to hold at night*

Number 4: Hate to prove everybody right about your partner *Now the whole facebook gon know he cheated when he put pics up of his other chic*

Number 3: wanna keep the family together *we got kids or my momma loves him/her so much*

Number 2: Sexual relationship is awesome! *her head game tooooo right or his penis is one of a kind*

Number 1: Either person can even stand the thought of seeing the other with someone new. *Put up with the arguing and stay for real*

Be A Mother

I am blessed to have a wonderful 10 month old baby girl. I am indeed her mother. I don't allow anyone else to rob me of that title by doing "motherly" things for MY daughter. It truly hurts my heart to see women throw their children off to their grandparents so they may continue to live their life. That is not at all fair and should definitely be something that bothers the average person.

True Story: A girl gave birth to her daughter and LESS than a week after that, she posted pictures on Facebook of her out clubbing with her friends.

Now, I looked at her pictures and immediately shook my head. Not only did she not give her body time to breathe, she didn't give her daughter time to get acclimated and attached to her "mother" before getting back to her life. How selfish has the American culture become? How naive of her to post pictures of her horrible parenting? How dumb of her friends and family to post comments encouraging such behavior?

I was truly outdone because I know how the body works after such a traumatic event such as giving birth. Maybe you are thinking who I am to judge her for going and enjoying her youth-baby or not? Maybe you are correct or maybe you should realize a blog is for the world as that blogger sees it! :)

Anyhoot...I said all that to say that women like her cause stereotypes of young mothers to be validated. I hate defending the capability and responsibility of young mothers when I have such incapable young mothers working against me. Where have the values gone? What happened to mothers not wanting to be away from their babies for too long? What happened to mothers being MOTHERS and not baby sitters when it's convenient? It truly troubles my heart and I wish that things would change.

Trust me I am an advocate for mothers getting breaks to have personal time no matter the age. It is a necessity. But remember when parenting and motherhood comes before your personal desire. It's not and will never be cute for you to drop your baby off less than a week after birth so you can shake your ass in the club.

BE A MOTHER FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

Healed Wounds

When a wound heals, it tends to leave an ugly scab as a constant reminder of the pain and blood shed. Until it fully heals, it may itch a little and some are even impossible to touch without it being sore. But when a wound is completely healed and goes from scab to scar, it has no feeling. It doesnt bother you at all no matter if it is talked about, touched, rubbed or scratched again. So I ask myself; are my love wounds truly healed???

If those spots which once caused great pain are again touched or bumped up against, will they again hurt me? Will they again make me cry or allow my heart to sink into that dark place of anguish? If so, then those wounds cannot be healed as I fooled myself into thinking. Scars don't ail!

Lasting Love (for the ladies)

Too often couples put the "in love" label on their relationship and never realize that being in love doesnt come with a ticket, Forever. Females always find themselves going all out and putting all emotions on the line for "the one" they're "in love" with. Sadly these relationships dont usually last and this once happy and amazing couple become worst enemies. This is because we, women give way too much.

We strive to be the perfect lover and girlfriend which turns into us bending our morals and values in order to appease and please our "man". Crazily we hardly find any limits on what to do or endure in order to keep our partner happy. It sounds good and makes you a rider if you do any and everything for your man but why do such things for a person who will more than likely NOT become our husband? We have to stop giving our all for a bunch of nothing.

Taking up the role of wifey has furthered our stupidity as a species and is the main reason why heartbreak stays at the top of our emotional list. Most dudes refer to us as "my boo" "my chick" "my girl" and some even go so far as to say "wifey" but these are all positions that can be easily replaced when "boo, chick, girl, or wifey" messes up. As ladies we should strive for eternal roles such as "confidant AND wife" "best friend AND wife" "soulmate AND wife" "life partner AND wife"

We need to stop doing wife things when we are not wives. I am not saying be ready to marry the first man that makes you feel good but Beyonce was so right when she said, "If you like it, then you should put a ring on it". You should not deplete yourselves of wife qualities before you even have the chance to have a husband. Your husband is worth your hard work, time, love, and babies-not some dude that's in your ear telling you he loves you but can easily replace you when your "wife" roles begin to drop from his standards.

The time is now to stop this era of ignorance. If you want your love to last stop giving the last of your love.

Stay True

I wish the words would come to me like these tears do
Or maybe I pick up the phone and hear "I love you"
But yet I sit here with my heart in my hand
It stopped beating when you stopped being my man
I'm trying to realize where it all went wrong
How we gave up when we worked so long
I'm not understanding why we couldn't be
I blame myself but was it all on me?
You told me forever but I guess that was a lie
I thought it was til the end between you and I
Yet my tears meet at the end of my chin
I'm replaying everything over and over again
You seem to be happy and living your life
While you treat me like "baby mama" when I was supposed to be wife
Just pretend like you care, ease my heart's pain
Make me feel like my efforts weren't all in vain
You were my lover, my guy, my very best friend
Now I feel like this hurt has no pause or no end
Assure me that it is still I that holds your heart
Tell me its hurting you just as bad that we are apart
How can two people just give up on love's fight?
You and I both know this thing can't be right
I love you, I miss you. I'm supposed to be your girl
Why do I feel like this is the end of my world?
But what can I do? I cant force your heart's passion
I wish my heart knew of a less painful reaction
Cause my heart deserves better and so do I
So from now on I cant let these eyes cry
My love for you has not and will never change
But to experience pure bliss,this heartache I'll exchange
Just know the time we shared is what I'll never forget
My body will always remember the day our hearts met
So rather you're mine or you with someone new
My feelings for you will forever stay true

World AIDS Day

I am sure we all know today is World AIDS Day. AIDS is a serious matter. It is definitely not a joke at all. Black people are not the only ones who are getting AIDS but unfortunately we are the main ones infected. We make up more than half of all AIDS cases in the world. That's not cool. I remember reading something about how people are wearing masks trying not to contract the swine flu but over 90 million cases of AIDS and people still aren't wearing condoms. It is not a game people. If you too scared to get tested, sex is not for you. Sex is supposed to be for mature adults so if you don't want to get tsted then you should refrain from sex. Below I have listed dumb reasons/excuses not to get tested. If you or your partner find yourself saying these things, AIDS may be a gift one of you have given to each other and unfortunately you'll never know.

* It can't happen to me.
* My girl was tested and she didn't have nothing, so I'm straight.
* I got tested last year and I've had the same partner.
* I don't want to know if I'm dying.
* I don't want anyone to see me getting tested.

You get the point! Get tested people!