I'M IN MIAMI TRIIIICCCKKK

Me and my girls took a trip to Miami. It was good and it was bad, but through it all it was fun! I wish to do such trips like this with my girls annually. I think things like that are good for friends to share with each other. They build memories and strengthen their bond.

Friendships are one of the most important types of relationships one can have. It is equally important for both people to make the friendship work. One of the great things about a true friendship is that no matter the miles in between or the lack of communication; uniting is like things never changed. I love my girls and we was all in MIAMI TRICK!

Just Friends

This letter, this poem, this heart thang
for which I cant find a name
is about to let you in my world, my heart, my soul, the true me
which most times I dont let you see
but I guess this time I'll let my words be free
free to linger and touch your insides with that warm, tingly, feeling you cast upon me
I come with flaws and imperfections
but between us there's a connection
one that I feel is truly a blessing
and at times teaches me a valuable lesson
love comes knocking
when love's not wanted
but more so needed
and needs to be proceeded with cooperation
and communication
without any hesitation
but most definitely without limitations
yet I choose to run from love cause when love gets too close, it starts to hurt
and strip you of everything so all that you are left with is love itself
which sometimes isn't sufficient
but to ignore all the fussin' and bitchin'
to yourself you continue to mention
that it's what you got and love is what you'll always have but LOVERS dont always stay
...but more about me and you
and how I smile when you call me boo
and how at times I wanna leave with an "I love you"
but too scared that "love you too"
won't be heard on my end
cause in your eyes we're a little above friends
yet you beat and wanna beat again
but the reality still stands
that we're just friends
which is not what I long for
but rather what I settle for
until a me and you is what we both want for sure
cause baby I'm feeling you
and I care for you
you mean a lot to me
your words, your sounds, your everything
they're what make you and without you there'd be no me
you reserve the master suite in this hotel,metaphorically speaking of my body and how my heart has your name written on it
in bold print
italicized
and underlined
waiting for you to sign
on the dotted line
stating that I'll be yours and you'll be mine

Y U C K Y

So it's 2:23 am and I can't even think about sleeping right now because as the saying goes "the weight of the world is on my shoulders". For the past three months I have been making some of the dumbest decisions. Well tonight I finally got my long awaited reality check.

#1 My sister is ALWAYS there for me, although her unintentional bitchy ways can totally turn me off and give off the wrong vibe. She loves me for who I am and has manged to keep all my secrets no matter what. I have no clue where I would be without that girl. Needless to say, I called her with tears streaming down my face only an hour prior to this time. Life without my sis is Y U C K Y.

#2 I can do without my "friends" here in Daytona. That may sound so harsh but lately I have found myself trying to mold and shape them into the friends I have back home. The reality is THEY WILL NEVER BE MY BEST FRIENDS AND AS OF NOW THEY WILL NEVER LOVE AND UNDERSTAND ME AS MY BESTIES BACK HOME HAVE. The whole idea is superficial and I was way MORE than naive to think they could ever be an equivalent substitution for my GIRLS. Thought pattern is Y U C K Y.

#3 My boyfriend loves me more than I could ever explain to the person looking at me in the mirror. He goes to great ends for me and {most} times does it without complaint. No matter how much bull shit I throw his way, he manages to keep his cool and give me that security I need every time he says "I love you". For the first time in my life, I feel like I NEED a person to survive. That person being my angel, best friend, confidant, pride, and the love of my life-my boyfriend. Me not appreciating him as I should is Y U C K Y.

#4 Above all I can only be ME! This portion of my reality check is soooo needed. I have found myself too many times to count, in the appeasing seat and second placing my feelings for others. I refuse to suppress Fancy B any longer. I am who God created me to be and that is something I am very proud of. Everything else and everyone else must wait because I come before all in {MY} world. Me thinking I could change for others was Y U C K Y.

I guess you can say, I have come to my senses. My duty now is to make sure that I hold on to these truths and embrace them with love. My life will no longer be Y U C K Y. I'm taking it ALLLLLLLL back. =)