Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reality. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
My Circle
Sadly I don't really have a circle. I don't have a ring of trust, love, and friendship. Most times I feel like all I actually have is me and my creator. I'm not really sure if it saddens me or even bothers me anymore. I just know that I would like an outlet. When I feel like the weight of the world is on me, I don't have that person to help me carry my load. Instead I try to cope and deal with things on my own. I stuff them away in my head and shield my heart as best possible. It doesn't always work. I often feel lost...left behind...forgotten. Things weren't always this way. I once had a circle. I had friends. I had my girls. Years tore that circle apart leaving me as one. When I need that outlet I often feel lonely. This moment is one of such solitude. The only friend I currently have serves as more than just a friend making things harder. Much harder actually because when things are awry amongst us...that's it. That supposed never ending circle I was once in seems more distant than ever. So my words...my computer...my phone...with the keyboard are all left of my circle. Just me, Fancy, and Franchesca.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Lasting Love (for the ladies)
Too often couples put the "in love" label on their relationship and never realize that being in love doesnt come with a ticket, Forever. Females always find themselves going all out and putting all emotions on the line for "the one" they're "in love" with. Sadly these relationships dont usually last and this once happy and amazing couple become worst enemies. This is because we, women give way too much.
We strive to be the perfect lover and girlfriend which turns into us bending our morals and values in order to appease and please our "man". Crazily we hardly find any limits on what to do or endure in order to keep our partner happy. It sounds good and makes you a rider if you do any and everything for your man but why do such things for a person who will more than likely NOT become our husband? We have to stop giving our all for a bunch of nothing.
Taking up the role of wifey has furthered our stupidity as a species and is the main reason why heartbreak stays at the top of our emotional list. Most dudes refer to us as "my boo" "my chick" "my girl" and some even go so far as to say "wifey" but these are all positions that can be easily replaced when "boo, chick, girl, or wifey" messes up. As ladies we should strive for eternal roles such as "confidant AND wife" "best friend AND wife" "soulmate AND wife" "life partner AND wife"
We need to stop doing wife things when we are not wives. I am not saying be ready to marry the first man that makes you feel good but Beyonce was so right when she said, "If you like it, then you should put a ring on it". You should not deplete yourselves of wife qualities before you even have the chance to have a husband. Your husband is worth your hard work, time, love, and babies-not some dude that's in your ear telling you he loves you but can easily replace you when your "wife" roles begin to drop from his standards.
The time is now to stop this era of ignorance. If you want your love to last stop giving the last of your love.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Not Correctable
The tears keep streamin
I'm asking what do you mean and
Why must you hurt me, lie, to me, and hate me
Act as though I'm out to get you, when in reality I just want to love you
And maybe hold you, and kiss you, and just be with you
But your words and actions leave me with NO satisfaction
But rather just a "sorry ms. jackson"
Which I don't understand, cause YOU, you supposed to be my man,
My life, my world, my babyboy
The one in whom is my pride and joy
But yet...
The tears keep pourin'
I'm asking if you think I'm a whore and
Why is it that you haven't called me
You know...since you boned me
Seeing that we were together for so long
I thought it was okay to take off my thong
But I now I see I laid with the enemy
And now that enemy resides inside of me
Cause if I want it or not, we made ourselves one
All this heartache for a few minutes of fun
And here I sit analyzing facts
Realizing now that I have no tact
Cause I don't know what to do in this predicament
I'm hurting over the boy I thought was God sent
But yet...
The tears keep racin'
I'm asking why haven't I seen your face and
I get the feeling that you've moved ahead
And all that you left me were lies you said
You know like "You're the only one for me" and "I'll be here always"
Funny how I haven't heard from you in days
But this can't be true
Cause you ALWAYS responded with "I love you too"
But in these tears lies pain
This pain I'm feeling is ineffable, inexpressible, ineffectual, inevitable
Shouldn't be acceptable
But I can't change it cause it's not correctable
I'm asking what do you mean and
Why must you hurt me, lie, to me, and hate me
Act as though I'm out to get you, when in reality I just want to love you
And maybe hold you, and kiss you, and just be with you
But your words and actions leave me with NO satisfaction
But rather just a "sorry ms. jackson"
Which I don't understand, cause YOU, you supposed to be my man,
My life, my world, my babyboy
The one in whom is my pride and joy
But yet...
The tears keep pourin'
I'm asking if you think I'm a whore and
Why is it that you haven't called me
You know...since you boned me
Seeing that we were together for so long
I thought it was okay to take off my thong
But I now I see I laid with the enemy
And now that enemy resides inside of me
Cause if I want it or not, we made ourselves one
All this heartache for a few minutes of fun
And here I sit analyzing facts
Realizing now that I have no tact
Cause I don't know what to do in this predicament
I'm hurting over the boy I thought was God sent
But yet...
The tears keep racin'
I'm asking why haven't I seen your face and
I get the feeling that you've moved ahead
And all that you left me were lies you said
You know like "You're the only one for me" and "I'll be here always"
Funny how I haven't heard from you in days
But this can't be true
Cause you ALWAYS responded with "I love you too"
But in these tears lies pain
This pain I'm feeling is ineffable, inexpressible, ineffectual, inevitable
Shouldn't be acceptable
But I can't change it cause it's not correctable
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Maybe I'm Heartless
Indeed it's a shock that Michael Jackson has died, but seriously why are people acting like Mike was their closest uncle or somebody. I mean he is definitely legend but watching 20 year olds crying on 106 and park strikes me as p i t i f u l. The bottom line is that you didn't know him personally and your tears and sad ways are not doing him any good. Ask yourself, would Michael cry if he heard you had died. Would he care one way or the other??? Pray for his family but let that sad ish go. It's stupid. ::personal opinion::
It doesn't make you a fan if you only know his 3 or 4 most popular songs. Get a grip! I didn't cry for Left Eye, Aaliyah, Biggie, Pac, Rick James, Bernie Mac, not even Luther....Mike will NOT get my tears! So maybe I'm heartless...I think I'm a realest and its time you get a taste of the juice I'm on!
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Let It Go!
I have so much to say but at times like this my words can never really be expressed. I guess the bottom line is I am unsure of my feelings and my take on certain situations cause I could potentially have a biased view. But here goes!
People go through life not really getting the treatment they deserve because of their passive and kind ways. But how do you know when too far is just that? Too far! Don’t get me wrong because I believe in forgiving people but when it seems as if the intentions of the person is to honestly hurt you, that’s when you have to get the balls to continue on without that person. No one who truly loves you will continuously do things that cause you ill feelings. Obviously that person is trying to send you a sign or give u the notion that he/she wants a change in life and you are not necessarily apart of that change. People can only do what you allow them to do and if you allow them to run over you or make a fool of you or even present a picture of them having you wrapped around their pinky finger, then guess what….THEY WILL CONTINUE TO DO THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF REMORSE!!!
Girls indeed play games in relationships no matter how much they love and care for you. But some games chicks play go beyond the limitation of a TRUE loving relationship. If someone so called really care about you then they want the best for you. Love is KIND! I know that things are not supposed to be all peachy clean but things do get to that breaking point and when it gets there it has to be a 50/50 effort to get past it. When new situations began to arise and you are the victim not the criminal, it is time to LET GO! There is no justification or excuse to be mistreated! If the person you have professed your love to publically and privately begins to do things out of the norm such as numerable cheatings acts or anything that is shameful to tell a third party, then maybe that person has already began a new life and is just giving you reasons to call it quits….(games) the best game a chick or guy can put on is the upfront game cause he or she is letting you know everything that is going on but at the same time not stopping the side piece action! So for that person, everything is cool because they “did the right thing” by making you aware of the wrong actions but who is to say that the wrong actions are going to stop as a result of you knowing?!?! Them not having anything to hide only allows them to sleep better but oh well for your sleep cause that person still doing their own thing without any regard to your feelings!
Then that person hits you with the “but YOU did this” or “what about that time YOU” type of stuff. This in turn makes you feel bad and that is when you excuse such behavior from him or her because the wrong you did surfaces once again! But my main thing is this {{{love is not sufficient if BOTH parties are doing things that can most definitely be under the title of cheating}}} obviously the happiness that was once there is only sparked at certain times and remnants of the past can produce that smile that you once couldn’t get OFF your face. Rather you decide to face reality or not, you both have found happiness elsewhere. The time needed to mend and rebuild what WAS, is too extensive due to the fact that in the time used to repair; feelings for whomever else have already grown! The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Clearly you must be insane to keep trying to put the pieces to the puzzle back together knowing it’s a 100 count and you only have 78 pieces to work with!! Maybe you are better off without each other than being together under conditions that include arguing constantly, attitude changes when the person comes around, lying when the truth is too much to handle, and going to sleep thinking about someone else >lol…killer<> Basically you both are looking for an outlet to escape the sad reality of what once was but when the outlet becomes available it becomes easier to blame each other than to accept things as they are clearly given to you! You can love someone and be apart from them. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you have to be with each other. Love is definitely not the super glue to relationships. It has to be more!
Moral of the blog>>>>LET IT GO!
People go through life not really getting the treatment they deserve because of their passive and kind ways. But how do you know when too far is just that? Too far! Don’t get me wrong because I believe in forgiving people but when it seems as if the intentions of the person is to honestly hurt you, that’s when you have to get the balls to continue on without that person. No one who truly loves you will continuously do things that cause you ill feelings. Obviously that person is trying to send you a sign or give u the notion that he/she wants a change in life and you are not necessarily apart of that change. People can only do what you allow them to do and if you allow them to run over you or make a fool of you or even present a picture of them having you wrapped around their pinky finger, then guess what….THEY WILL CONTINUE TO DO THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF REMORSE!!!
Girls indeed play games in relationships no matter how much they love and care for you. But some games chicks play go beyond the limitation of a TRUE loving relationship. If someone so called really care about you then they want the best for you. Love is KIND! I know that things are not supposed to be all peachy clean but things do get to that breaking point and when it gets there it has to be a 50/50 effort to get past it. When new situations began to arise and you are the victim not the criminal, it is time to LET GO! There is no justification or excuse to be mistreated! If the person you have professed your love to publically and privately begins to do things out of the norm such as numerable cheatings acts or anything that is shameful to tell a third party, then maybe that person has already began a new life and is just giving you reasons to call it quits….(games) the best game a chick or guy can put on is the upfront game cause he or she is letting you know everything that is going on but at the same time not stopping the side piece action! So for that person, everything is cool because they “did the right thing” by making you aware of the wrong actions but who is to say that the wrong actions are going to stop as a result of you knowing?!?! Them not having anything to hide only allows them to sleep better but oh well for your sleep cause that person still doing their own thing without any regard to your feelings!
Then that person hits you with the “but YOU did this” or “what about that time YOU” type of stuff. This in turn makes you feel bad and that is when you excuse such behavior from him or her because the wrong you did surfaces once again! But my main thing is this {{{love is not sufficient if BOTH parties are doing things that can most definitely be under the title of cheating}}} obviously the happiness that was once there is only sparked at certain times and remnants of the past can produce that smile that you once couldn’t get OFF your face. Rather you decide to face reality or not, you both have found happiness elsewhere. The time needed to mend and rebuild what WAS, is too extensive due to the fact that in the time used to repair; feelings for whomever else have already grown! The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Clearly you must be insane to keep trying to put the pieces to the puzzle back together knowing it’s a 100 count and you only have 78 pieces to work with!! Maybe you are better off without each other than being together under conditions that include arguing constantly, attitude changes when the person comes around, lying when the truth is too much to handle, and going to sleep thinking about someone else >lol…killer<> Basically you both are looking for an outlet to escape the sad reality of what once was but when the outlet becomes available it becomes easier to blame each other than to accept things as they are clearly given to you! You can love someone and be apart from them. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you have to be with each other. Love is definitely not the super glue to relationships. It has to be more!
Moral of the blog>>>>LET IT GO!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
It Takes So Much
*all feelings expressed are real, but not necessarily MINE*
So today after I saw the look in your eyes after you looked into mine, I realized it takes so much.
It takes so much to walk away from you as if your place in my life is minimal.
It takes so much not to scream at people through a bull horn just how much I love you.
It takes so much not to walk up to every person I see and tell them about the text messages you sent me last night.
It takes so much not to tweet about the phone call I received from you this morning, as you expressed your love and affection for me
It takes so much to settle for a "church hug" when I really want to hold you tight and not let go
It takes so much to ignore the butterflies I get when I see your smile
It takes so much not to part your lips with my tongue and taste your nectar
I guess it wouldn't take so much if I wasn't another man's woman and you weren't another woman's man.
You should be mine.
So today after I saw the look in your eyes after you looked into mine, I realized it takes so much.
It takes so much to walk away from you as if your place in my life is minimal.
It takes so much not to scream at people through a bull horn just how much I love you.
It takes so much not to walk up to every person I see and tell them about the text messages you sent me last night.
It takes so much not to tweet about the phone call I received from you this morning, as you expressed your love and affection for me
It takes so much to settle for a "church hug" when I really want to hold you tight and not let go
It takes so much to ignore the butterflies I get when I see your smile
It takes so much not to part your lips with my tongue and taste your nectar
I guess it wouldn't take so much if I wasn't another man's woman and you weren't another woman's man.
You should be mine.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Just Be Real
Why is it that people feel like they cant be straight forward from the beginning! I am one who desires the stink, dirty, and nasty truth before a little white lie! I find it intriguing if a person tells me what they want from the top and doesn't shade or "behind-the-bush" anything.
A lot of girls know they only want sex or whatever materials you can afford. They simply play the "oh-I-really-like-you" role long enough to the satisfaction desired until they are moving on to what's better and more importantly, NEXT.
Of course there are those dudes who are in it to hit and quit but although most females try to act surprised, they probably knew this was the case before they allowed themselves to play victim! My thing is, a lot of time could be preserved if people would simply put the cards ON the table instead of UNDER it from jump street!
Let the person know your REAL desires and intentions before someone actually gets hurts in the long run. It saves time and hearts! We are in a recession; everything needs to be preserved. haha!
A lot of girls know they only want sex or whatever materials you can afford. They simply play the "oh-I-really-like-you" role long enough to the satisfaction desired until they are moving on to what's better and more importantly, NEXT.
Of course there are those dudes who are in it to hit and quit but although most females try to act surprised, they probably knew this was the case before they allowed themselves to play victim! My thing is, a lot of time could be preserved if people would simply put the cards ON the table instead of UNDER it from jump street!
Let the person know your REAL desires and intentions before someone actually gets hurts in the long run. It saves time and hearts! We are in a recession; everything needs to be preserved. haha!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Keep It Movin
What do you do when your heart beats for two? Do you choose the one you love or the one who loves you?
This is mostly for my ladies but I'm sure my fellas can feel me on this as well. It's crazy how much you THINK you are over a person and then they show up with "that other girl/guy". Your whole world goes dumb as you start to remember all the good times you shared. You actually realize how much of your heart that person really has. It's even crazier because you have suppsedly moved on yourself!
But does a person ever really stop loving?? I think not. I believe that all loves are different and cant be compared to each other. You don't stop loving, rather you take the dedication to move on. So again I ask, what is a person to do when love is telling them to go back with that "old guy/girl" but the future looks brighter with that "new-new"?
Do you give up on what you have and go back to what you had? People are in your life for a season and to go back and try to reestablish what WAS is insane. So I say, pick up the dusty pieces to your life and keep it moving!
Don't miss out on your blessing because you too busy playing on the Devil's playground. =) Embrace the fact that yes, you love them, but it's a reason why the two of you are no longer ONE.
This is mostly for my ladies but I'm sure my fellas can feel me on this as well. It's crazy how much you THINK you are over a person and then they show up with "that other girl/guy". Your whole world goes dumb as you start to remember all the good times you shared. You actually realize how much of your heart that person really has. It's even crazier because you have suppsedly moved on yourself!
But does a person ever really stop loving?? I think not. I believe that all loves are different and cant be compared to each other. You don't stop loving, rather you take the dedication to move on. So again I ask, what is a person to do when love is telling them to go back with that "old guy/girl" but the future looks brighter with that "new-new"?
Do you give up on what you have and go back to what you had? People are in your life for a season and to go back and try to reestablish what WAS is insane. So I say, pick up the dusty pieces to your life and keep it moving!
Don't miss out on your blessing because you too busy playing on the Devil's playground. =) Embrace the fact that yes, you love them, but it's a reason why the two of you are no longer ONE.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Y U C K Y
So it's 2:23 am and I can't even think about sleeping right now because as the saying goes "the weight of the world is on my shoulders". For the past three months I have been making some of the dumbest decisions. Well tonight I finally got my long awaited reality check.
#1 My sister is ALWAYS there for me, although her unintentional bitchy ways can totally turn me off and give off the wrong vibe. She loves me for who I am and has manged to keep all my secrets no matter what. I have no clue where I would be without that girl. Needless to say, I called her with tears streaming down my face only an hour prior to this time. Life without my sis is Y U C K Y.
#2 I can do without my "friends" here in Daytona. That may sound so harsh but lately I have found myself trying to mold and shape them into the friends I have back home. The reality is THEY WILL NEVER BE MY BEST FRIENDS AND AS OF NOW THEY WILL NEVER LOVE AND UNDERSTAND ME AS MY BESTIES BACK HOME HAVE. The whole idea is superficial and I was way MORE than naive to think they could ever be an equivalent substitution for my GIRLS. Thought pattern is Y U C K Y.
#3 My boyfriend loves me more than I could ever explain to the person looking at me in the mirror. He goes to great ends for me and {most} times does it without complaint. No matter how much bull shit I throw his way, he manages to keep his cool and give me that security I need every time he says "I love you". For the first time in my life, I feel like I NEED a person to survive. That person being my angel, best friend, confidant, pride, and the love of my life-my boyfriend. Me not appreciating him as I should is Y U C K Y.
#4 Above all I can only be ME! This portion of my reality check is soooo needed. I have found myself too many times to count, in the appeasing seat and second placing my feelings for others. I refuse to suppress Fancy B any longer. I am who God created me to be and that is something I am very proud of. Everything else and everyone else must wait because I come before all in {MY} world. Me thinking I could change for others was Y U C K Y.
I guess you can say, I have come to my senses. My duty now is to make sure that I hold on to these truths and embrace them with love. My life will no longer be Y U C K Y. I'm taking it ALLLLLLLL back. =)
#1 My sister is ALWAYS there for me, although her unintentional bitchy ways can totally turn me off and give off the wrong vibe. She loves me for who I am and has manged to keep all my secrets no matter what. I have no clue where I would be without that girl. Needless to say, I called her with tears streaming down my face only an hour prior to this time. Life without my sis is Y U C K Y.
#2 I can do without my "friends" here in Daytona. That may sound so harsh but lately I have found myself trying to mold and shape them into the friends I have back home. The reality is THEY WILL NEVER BE MY BEST FRIENDS AND AS OF NOW THEY WILL NEVER LOVE AND UNDERSTAND ME AS MY BESTIES BACK HOME HAVE. The whole idea is superficial and I was way MORE than naive to think they could ever be an equivalent substitution for my GIRLS. Thought pattern is Y U C K Y.
#3 My boyfriend loves me more than I could ever explain to the person looking at me in the mirror. He goes to great ends for me and {most} times does it without complaint. No matter how much bull shit I throw his way, he manages to keep his cool and give me that security I need every time he says "I love you". For the first time in my life, I feel like I NEED a person to survive. That person being my angel, best friend, confidant, pride, and the love of my life-my boyfriend. Me not appreciating him as I should is Y U C K Y.
#4 Above all I can only be ME! This portion of my reality check is soooo needed. I have found myself too many times to count, in the appeasing seat and second placing my feelings for others. I refuse to suppress Fancy B any longer. I am who God created me to be and that is something I am very proud of. Everything else and everyone else must wait because I come before all in {MY} world. Me thinking I could change for others was Y U C K Y.
I guess you can say, I have come to my senses. My duty now is to make sure that I hold on to these truths and embrace them with love. My life will no longer be Y U C K Y. I'm taking it ALLLLLLLL back. =)
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