Y U C K Y

So it's 2:23 am and I can't even think about sleeping right now because as the saying goes "the weight of the world is on my shoulders". For the past three months I have been making some of the dumbest decisions. Well tonight I finally got my long awaited reality check.

#1 My sister is ALWAYS there for me, although her unintentional bitchy ways can totally turn me off and give off the wrong vibe. She loves me for who I am and has manged to keep all my secrets no matter what. I have no clue where I would be without that girl. Needless to say, I called her with tears streaming down my face only an hour prior to this time. Life without my sis is Y U C K Y.

#2 I can do without my "friends" here in Daytona. That may sound so harsh but lately I have found myself trying to mold and shape them into the friends I have back home. The reality is THEY WILL NEVER BE MY BEST FRIENDS AND AS OF NOW THEY WILL NEVER LOVE AND UNDERSTAND ME AS MY BESTIES BACK HOME HAVE. The whole idea is superficial and I was way MORE than naive to think they could ever be an equivalent substitution for my GIRLS. Thought pattern is Y U C K Y.

#3 My boyfriend loves me more than I could ever explain to the person looking at me in the mirror. He goes to great ends for me and {most} times does it without complaint. No matter how much bull shit I throw his way, he manages to keep his cool and give me that security I need every time he says "I love you". For the first time in my life, I feel like I NEED a person to survive. That person being my angel, best friend, confidant, pride, and the love of my life-my boyfriend. Me not appreciating him as I should is Y U C K Y.

#4 Above all I can only be ME! This portion of my reality check is soooo needed. I have found myself too many times to count, in the appeasing seat and second placing my feelings for others. I refuse to suppress Fancy B any longer. I am who God created me to be and that is something I am very proud of. Everything else and everyone else must wait because I come before all in {MY} world. Me thinking I could change for others was Y U C K Y.

I guess you can say, I have come to my senses. My duty now is to make sure that I hold on to these truths and embrace them with love. My life will no longer be Y U C K Y. I'm taking it ALLLLLLLL back. =)