World AIDS Day

I am sure we all know today is World AIDS Day. AIDS is a serious matter. It is definitely not a joke at all. Black people are not the only ones who are getting AIDS but unfortunately we are the main ones infected. We make up more than half of all AIDS cases in the world. That's not cool. I remember reading something about how people are wearing masks trying not to contract the swine flu but over 90 million cases of AIDS and people still aren't wearing condoms. It is not a game people. If you too scared to get tested, sex is not for you. Sex is supposed to be for mature adults so if you don't want to get tsted then you should refrain from sex. Below I have listed dumb reasons/excuses not to get tested. If you or your partner find yourself saying these things, AIDS may be a gift one of you have given to each other and unfortunately you'll never know.

* It can't happen to me.
* My girl was tested and she didn't have nothing, so I'm straight.
* I got tested last year and I've had the same partner.
* I don't want to know if I'm dying.
* I don't want anyone to see me getting tested.

You get the point! Get tested people!

Love Hates

Jazmine Sullivan's album "Fearless" had some awesome tracks on it but for the majority of the CD, you had to have experienced the situations to truly understand, love, and appreciate the songs.

Lions, Tigers, and Bears was indeed a hit off the album and was one of the tracks that was seriously personal to me. A line that really hit home in the song goes as follows: "Why do we love, love when love seems to hate us"

This is a question that only women and men alike who have undergone some serious heartbreak will ever understand. I am in no way saying that only women play the fool to love but it is usually our species who do. We never seem to give up on love no matter how many times it has led us astray or how many stitches it takes to mend our broken hearts. For most females love is like an addicting drug in so many facets. When we don't have it, we crave it, NEED it, want it, get upset if we can find someone to give it, will give anything just to get a "hit". And once we get that hit, we keep puffing-never passing until we get that true high. We enjoy that high soooo much. It's a feeling that is unexplainable. We never want to come down off that high and we do whatever it takes to maintain it. We get so livid with people trying to blow our high; like the ex-girlfriends and present haters. As a side effect of this potent drug, we go outside of our candid character when anything or anyone doesn't allow us to experience that pure bliss we desire from that high. That is when we become super weak and highly emotional. It is the time when we make ultimate sacrifices in order to keep that drug flowing in our lives. Our best friends say we act different. We no longer want to hang out as much and grades begin to fail because of all the time we spend getting "high". Before we know it, we become so consumed with this drug that nothing else or no one else matters except for our supplier. The happiness and security we get from this drug is insurmountable. Then that day comes when we no longer get that same high we used to. Things have changed as if we're on a new drug. The old days are just that-old days. We start to get depressed and crying is a regular part of our day. We're encumbered with feelings of rage and sadness because our drug has begun to let us down. We can't seem to find out how to get that same drug back from our supplier, not realizing it isn't the drug that has changed but the supplier, himself. The supplier which is the boyfriend has decided that supplying is no longer as riveting as it was in the beginning of the "smoking session". He passed the "blunt/pipe" a long time ago and had no desire for us to pass it back. He is on to supplying the next girl who is soon to be let down! Yet we females continue to pull from this now dead blunt/pipe not realizing the drug is gone. We are now smoking on fumes. We see the ashes from when this drug was at its prime but it is no longer there. The drug has won again. Love don't love nobody and when it does, it's only temporary. Our high is gone-completely gone. We are left destitute and in withdrawal as we reminisce on that awesome drug we had. So I ask my love bugs out there, was that high really worth this low? Because now every new supplier you get has to work super hard and supply way more in order for you to realize that his drug is the best on the market for you. You never allow yourself to get completely high anymore because remembering how awful you felt when that drug left your life inhibits you from true happiness. Sooner or later we do fine that supplier that seems to shame all the rest of suppliers you had before. You're getting high again, not even worried about coming down. Then the vicious cycle begins again...We find ourselves off that high over and over and over again. It's a sad thing. We want to get ourselves together because frankly, we are tired of seeing ourselves like this. So we check ourselves into rehab. We go on a spree of being single, living the good life and embracing ourselves more than ever. Self love becomes our main focus and motivation as we try to shake ourselves of that dirty drug-love. We do well for a while. Some of us go months...years. Sadly most of us still find ourselves nostalgically wanting that drug back in our lives. More than likely we slip up and start all over from the beginning. Love is one drug that is not going ANYWHERE no matter how or who may deny it. We love to love, to have love, to be loved but have you ever took the time to really recognize how much love hates....

Motivation Tip #1

Have you ever noticed that the word dash is associated with fast or rapid things? For example:

1)The DASHboard in your car and blogger account gives you a quick view of everything and all your controls/operations

2)If you tell someone you are going to make a DASH to the store and then you'll be back, you are referring to a quick trip

3)At a restaurant, your server may tell you that your food will be out in a DASH, meaning quickly...

You get the whole idea of DASH pertaining to quick situations. Have you ever noticed that grave markers/tombstones have a dash between the year of the person's birth and death? Your whole life will soon be symbolized and reduced to a dash-something quick.

We have to get control of our dash and really make something out of it or those 4 numbers before and after it mean nothing. Too many people take too much time wasting their lives marinating on the "rain" never seeing the beautful rainbow that lies just ahead.

So my motivation tip for you is to live life to the fullest because it could be gone in a dash!

The Motto by Ricosuave

This is a song off Ricosuave's upcoming project, 'The Standard' which will drop 1/1/10 and be fully produced by 4 Front. The mixtape will be available at www.ricosuaveatl.com upon release.

Here's the link: http://bit.ly/1gh3YB

This particular song is about him expressing his desire to keep his integrity in everything he does especially with his music. It also, expresses his disgust of people who do music without a passion for it but rather a passion for money. He lays down a personal motto in which he lives by expressed in the last line of the chorus 'Yall can limbo under the bar and Ima high jump'. That line alone means he will go above the standards and not under as means to JUST get by. Also, to ensure this he surrounds himself by people who live by the same creed.

His past projects can be found at www.ricosuaveatl.com
Also, every saturday he releases a song #SuaveSaturdays at www.soundcloud/ricosuaveatl
Contact Info: twitter.com/ricosuaveatl
facebook.com/ricosuaveatl
Booking/Press: (678) 362-3363

I Knew I Was A Mom When...

::1:: I cried as she was getting her Hep B shot

::2:: I didn't sleep for two nights just so I could watch her breathing

::3:: I cried when she cried due to her hunger

::4:: I was up at 4 in the morning,bright eyed and happy

::5:: I started tearing up when I thought about how life would be after I return to work

::6:: I forgot to eat cause I was so busy getting stuff prepared for her

::7:: I got pooed and peed on and smiled afterwards

::8:: I watched Spongebob

::9:: I didn't put up a facebook album of her pics cuz I didnt want everyone to see her

::10:: I felt like my heart was outside of my body, in my arms, looking up at me

I never wanted to be a mom. I vowed to be childless unless I adopted. Now I would not trade motherhood for anything. I love my daughter so much!

Hormonal or Reality?

Whats worst than being sad and down?
-Being sad and down with no one to talk to cause they will never truly understand.
>>>>story of my life

Not Two

Why did I let you go is the question on my mind
You were such a lovely person, so funny and so kind

But I listened to my head instead of my heart
It said you no longer loved me and we were falling apart

So instead of me getting my heart broken once more again
I cut the relationship off and called us just friends

But I knew in my heart I wanted more
Cause without you, I had nothing to really live for

Many nights I cried myself sleep
I wish I hadn't gotten in so deep

I called and called, but you never answered the phone
I felt so unloved, I felt all alone

Finally we talked for what seemed like forever
By the end of the conversation we were back together

It was like the angels began to sing
I was so happy, what a wonderful thing

I never loved a person like I love you
I'm so happy we're one-not two

Not Correctable

The tears keep streamin
I'm asking what do you mean and
Why must you hurt me, lie, to me, and hate me
Act as though I'm out to get you, when in reality I just want to love you
And maybe hold you, and kiss you, and just be with you
But your words and actions leave me with NO satisfaction
But rather just a "sorry ms. jackson"
Which I don't understand, cause YOU, you supposed to be my man,
My life, my world, my babyboy
The one in whom is my pride and joy
But yet...
The tears keep pourin'
I'm asking if you think I'm a whore and
Why is it that you haven't called me
You know...since you boned me
Seeing that we were together for so long
I thought it was okay to take off my thong
But I now I see I laid with the enemy
And now that enemy resides inside of me
Cause if I want it or not, we made ourselves one
All this heartache for a few minutes of fun
And here I sit analyzing facts
Realizing now that I have no tact
Cause I don't know what to do in this predicament
I'm hurting over the boy I thought was God sent
But yet...
The tears keep racin'
I'm asking why haven't I seen your face and
I get the feeling that you've moved ahead
And all that you left me were lies you said
You know like "You're the only one for me" and "I'll be here always"
Funny how I haven't heard from you in days
But this can't be true
Cause you ALWAYS responded with "I love you too"
But in these tears lies pain
This pain I'm feeling is ineffable, inexpressible, ineffectual, inevitable
Shouldn't be acceptable
But I can't change it cause it's not correctable

Just Friends

This letter, this poem, this heart thang
for which I cant find a name
is about to let you in my world, my heart, my soul, the true me
which most times I dont let you see
but I guess this time I'll let my words be free
free to linger and touch your insides with that warm, tingly, feeling you cast upon me
I come with flaws and imperfections
but between us there's a connection
one that I feel is truly a blessing
and at times teaches me a valuable lesson
love comes knocking
when love's not wanted
but more so needed
and needs to be proceeded with cooperation
and communication
without any hesitation
but most definitely without limitations
yet I choose to run from love cause when love gets too close, it starts to hurt
and strip you of everything so all that you are left with is love itself
which sometimes isn't sufficient
but to ignore all the fussin' and bitchin'
to yourself you continue to mention
that it's what you got and love is what you'll always have but LOVERS dont always stay
...but more about me and you
and how I smile when you call me boo
and how at times I wanna leave with an "I love you"
but too scared that "love you too"
won't be heard on my end
cause in your eyes we're a little above friends
yet you beat and wanna beat again
but the reality still stands
that we're just friends
which is not what I long for
but rather what I settle for
until a me and you is what we both want for sure
cause baby I'm feeling you
and I care for you
you mean a lot to me
your words, your sounds, your everything
they're what make you and without you there'd be no me
you reserve the master suite in this hotel,metaphorically speaking of my body and how my heart has your name written on it
in bold print
italicized
and underlined
waiting for you to sign
on the dotted line
stating that I'll be yours and you'll be mine

FACEBOOK DRAMA!!!

I thought I was growing up and leaving the drama aspect behind me. It never fails that it seems to wander around until it finds me. So here is the latest. A girl wrote the following note on facebook and tagged me FIRST...



This Shit IS kinda Sad..but its true!!
Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 1:58pm
FIRST....LET ME START OFF BY SAYIN...this note is not to bash or put anybody down..If you feel you have reached this message in error please hang up and try your call again.ANYWHO...I just wanted to say that WE MEANING BLACKS...xspecially my females need to wake up.AID/HIV IS THE #1KILLER IN THE AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY!!ppl check da info...Why do we insist on having raw sex and getting prego and shit..i understand mistakes happen,but at a time like this u really have to be more careful,new diseases are being discovered everyday but i swear like 4 a min,everyday out the week i found out sumbdy havin a baby..not even 21yet..its like WTF?..WHY ARENT WE USING THE BRAINS God gave us...just cuz a boy wants to have sex with you raw doesn't mean your his main or tht your anybody special..it actually means he doen't care about you or hisself..and just bcuz u known sumbody for a long period of time doesn't mean they clean..and by clean i mean not infected...a couple of years back we new a nigga tht went to clark tht had aids(and he was fine)and was fukn bitches raw on purpose bcuz he was mad@the world bcuz his ass had AIDS..So its like ppl just think man,thts all i'm sayin..i want us all to live long happy lives..but if we make careless descions like weather or not to use a condom..we will all eventually perish..and i use the term we loosly..cuz i knw all black dnt hve raw sex...and then with the dam baby thing..WHY THE FUCK WUD U *WANT* A BABY@18YRS OLD...sum of these gurls r getting prego on purpose..WHY?so you can struggle all your life and put your dreams on hold to raise another human being?i'm not understanding it.Why not wait til your physically,emotionally and FINANCILLY able..PLEASE DNT BANK ON YO FOOD STAMPS AND WELFARE TO HELP YOU CUZ THTS JUST PATHeTIC...And then just say oh my mama and frends gne help me...vanessa if u get prego gurl u on ya own..u too janice..i ain't helpin wit shit..lol..naw 4real y wud u wana put tht on your mama and others..hell ya mama done raising babies..why wud u wana put your love ones threw tht shit..THAT YOU CAN PREVENT...alli'm sayin is tht its not cute to be on the marta bus wit a baby..its not cute to have yo baby in gucci@2years old but u living with ur mama..CUM ON NOW LADIES..LETS GET OUR SHIT 2GETHER..and then its like when u young and got a baby..DON'T NO NIGGA WANNA FUCK WIT NO BABY MAMA...YOUNG NIGGAS AIN'T TRYNA PLAY DADDY...so dats all i gotta say if u get mad then dat mean its about ya ass so don't hate on the messenger...JUST THINK PEOPLE..DON'T LISTEN TO EVERYTHING A MAN TELLS YOU..AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE....WRAP IT UP...oh yea another thing all these babies growing up now..are the future..they are the world and if they aren't raised rite..in a good stable enviorment(which means they have a mom fully devoted to there well being...and not tryna hit up figure 8 every weekend,smoking weed and dranking Goose around them..and all tht otha ghetto shit)..they will grow up to be another statistic..So if you want your child to grow up happy..not needing 4 shit..then please wait til your ready..thanks everybody thts my time..its been real...GOD BLESS EVERYONE!



Her message could potentially be a good one but she went about it the wrong way in my opinion. I responded with this status....





Franchesca Fancy Battle is LH{pretty}BO at these incapable minds that speak so much "truth". Stop for a second and think about graduation day>>>dont think I saw you in your cap and gown! Before you try to drop some knowledge on ANYBODY, help yourself to a spoonful! Fancy gon do her and doesnt need your help to do it! *lOvE And pEAcE*



She commented back as well as I....





Tiffanie Latrice Jarrett at 3:16pm July 6
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i see you took the note kinda personaldidn't say u needed my help for anything...didn't men to offend anybody but like i said...if the shoe fits then hey...and yeah u didnt see me @graduation day..but a nigga still got her diploma and i think thts all tht matters..a nigga is strait...worry free...so uuuhhhhhhhhh like monica say...."don't take it personal baby"!!do u...



Franchesca Fancy Battle at 3:37pm July 6
who says the status was about you??? you give yourself way too much credit...looks like you're the one trying the proper shoes on...and if you think you are the first female to attack pregnant girls, then you got another one coming cuz you NOT and you wont be the last. the bottom line is YOU {tiffanie latrice jarrett} are not the one to judge ...all that matters for me is that ima take care of mine and fyi im disease free with college education which isnt stopping b/c of my child! i may not have it all together but all together i have it all! like jeezy say "only God can judge me, who the FUCK is you?!" and trust ima do me cuz only i can!=)



Tiffanie Latrice Jarrett at 2:28pm July 7
And thats all i'm sayin do you gid dam,i specifically said in the first line of the note THIS IS NOT TO JUDGE BASH OR ATTACK anybody.neva said u had a disease..dnt be so sensitive..it is wat it is...sorry if u feel attacked bt u were the only one tht had sumthin to say,so i guess you took it personal,however tht was not my intention,i din bash bt i refuse 2 do this facebook fighting thing so this is it...get mad or wateva bt ppl will always have sumthn to say..thts life..deal with it..i been dealing wit it....do wat u gota do shawty..y u letting another nigga words get u upset...fuck it..it doesn't matta@da end of the day...so dnt write nun else bout me,tell ya lame ass frens to stp the hb shit..so childish..its a wrap..





Franchesca Fancy Battle at 4:55pm July 7
bless yo heart....you HONESTLY think i have to hide behind an honesty box??????? since when were we facebook fighting? you making stuff a lot bigger than what it is. you wrote a note and i wrote a status that you ASSUMED was about you. then you go on to write more statuses and comments and even accused me of stuff....do me and you a favor by just blocking me to eliminate anymore confusion! i got bigger things in my life than you...be blessed!



Tiffanie Latrice Jarrett at 5:03pm July 7
shawty wateva i'm dne have ur baby..have a good life..u got it bra..



She then proceeded to send me a message....

Tiffanie Latrice Jarrett
July 7 at 3:49pm
Report Message
ok...i'm not going to keep going back and forth..u can just end it rite here..i have my opinion u have yours..and tht shud be the end of it...tell your frens to stp writing in my honesty box,dnt dedicate your status to me or nun of tht dumb ass computer shi..cuz at the end of the day i'ma still say wat i gota say and i'm not gne stp..long ass i'm not disrespecting anybody i'm cool,hell I WASN'T EVEN REFERING to your ass but you took it personal anyway as if i hit home for you so hey..i'm done with you..kill it..let it die for it go sumwhere u dnt want it to go..like i said..sorry if i offended u,tht wasn't my intention,the shit about me graduatin was funny..uncalled for bt funny...u thought u had sumthn but a nigga got hers..tht shit u talkin dnt even matter..so i wish u the best with ur baby and hope u dnt make the same mistake agin....*smooches*

so yeah, i replied....

Franchesca Fancy Battle
July 7 at 5:06pm
get a life tiffanie...i never said i took it personal...and for the last time, i never said the status was about you...hit dog will holla...you da only one taking shit personal, but you fail to realize that....i didnt take da shit personal...it was ya opinion so go you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please stop accusing me of writing in ya hb and idk what friends you talking bout but im pretty sure they have better things to do than toy with your hb....you telling me to let it die, but notice that you continue to contact me. you all on MY page, you making statuses and comments.....im so over it....grow up and you definitely tried me and my child by calling her a mistake. i wish ya mother would've aborted you. you are obviously the mistake. life is a gift from God, so thats on you for making it seem like he doesnt know what he's doing. i wish you the best with your pointless life.goodbye ms opinonated, dont give a fuck what ppl think about it, yet im all on franchesca's page salty about some petty shit, tiffanie. be blessed

even after i kindly dismissed her, she STILL replied...


Tiffanie Latrice Jarrett
Today at 12:20pm
Report Message
First off,let me address where your wrong.FRANCHESA I WROTE A NOTE,u got mad.changed ur stat...therefore YOU TOOK IT PERSONAL...WTF DNT U UNDERSTAND...U WERE ThE ONLY ONE WHO HAD SUMTHN TO SAY BOUT IT.da only one..even tho it wasn't directed towards you..I never said YOUR CHILD was a mistake...SEE YOUR STILL TAKING MY WORDs PERSONAL...bt you knw wat rite about now i dnt gve a fuck if u take them personal,stp being fake,the staus was about my note so i'm not buying your bullshit....and how did i try you when i never directed anything towards you..ONCE AGAIN THE DOg WILL HOLLA!!!u playin ya self rite now,u look real stupid..u called ya self out by getting mad lol...and as for me getting a life..in a couple of months ur going to wish u had one..lol..and for your knowledge i sent the message bcuz i thought the drama was childish.I dnt have to have ppl all oin my shit.oh andplease dnt try to call me out bout shit,cuz me my ppl know bout u.trust..and if u wana go there we can,see that was da problem in da first place u dnt knw wat ppl knw bout ya ass so dnt go there u or ya frend dnt wana go there...so uhh please end it rite here for your own sake baby mama...dnt contyact me...dnt dedicate your personal status to me..i feel special tht u did tht but enuf already...this is pointless ok..i'm sure you have PLENTY other MORE IMPORTANT things to WORRY and STRESS over..so live your life and keep me out of it..i'm not coming to no fukin baby shower so dnt foward me da message...thanks......peace and love!!!..............and who said anything about GOD not knowing wat he's doin..man shut da hell up..u obviously have isssues with your pregnacy..dnt take them out on me..u had unprotected sex..not i..u have to live with tht shit..not i...i'm good...good job...good schooling..good relationship...good place..i'm good baby..wish u cud say the same....maby u shuda gt da abortion cuz i see now ur misreable..mad@da world...honestly why are you mad at me?What did i physically do to you?I musta hit home for you in the note huh?sorry babe life is real...

needless to say, i finally blocked her and let her live in that screwed up brain of hers. she then went on to instant message my friend about ME accusing us both of writing in her honesty box and other mess. she also dedicated two statuses to ME! oh and dont let me forget her comment on her own note that was also about ME. yet she is the one continuously saying I dont need to take things personal. You be the judge and tell me who took anything personal....{lmao}

Indeed I gave her way to much of my time and should not have entertained her to begin with but it was just so tempting. For her, it's really a big deal and she probably has been living for this drama but it's old now and I'm so over her! I left Westlake drama at Westlake over two years ago! It's time to grow up! Me included!

Sleep Deprivation

Why is it that your body will do the opposite of what you mentally desire? I get up early all week for work and just this one time, i want to sleep late. I need the rest cuz i'm physically drained! Yet i'm lying here in bed jealous of my boyfriend cuz He's out! He's snoring and sleep talking as well! I just wanna close my eyes and dream about foolishness. Instead i'm up thinking bout what I can be doin and my goals for today. This absolutely sucks!

Maybe I'm Heartless

Indeed it's a shock that Michael Jackson has died, but seriously why are people acting like Mike was their closest uncle or somebody. I mean he is definitely legend but watching 20 year olds crying on 106 and park strikes me as p i t i f u l. The bottom line is that you didn't know him personally and your tears and sad ways are not doing him any good. Ask yourself, would Michael cry if he heard you had died. Would he care one way or the other??? Pray for his family but let that sad ish go. It's stupid. ::personal opinion::

It doesn't make you a fan if you only know his 3 or 4 most popular songs. Get a grip! I didn't cry for Left Eye, Aaliyah, Biggie, Pac, Rick James, Bernie Mac, not even Luther....Mike will NOT get my tears! So maybe I'm heartless...I think I'm a realest and its time you get a taste of the juice I'm on!

Let It Go!

I have so much to say but at times like this my words can never really be expressed. I guess the bottom line is I am unsure of my feelings and my take on certain situations cause I could potentially have a biased view. But here goes!

People go through life not really getting the treatment they deserve because of their passive and kind ways. But how do you know when too far is just that? Too far! Don’t get me wrong because I believe in forgiving people but when it seems as if the intentions of the person is to honestly hurt you, that’s when you have to get the balls to continue on without that person. No one who truly loves you will continuously do things that cause you ill feelings. Obviously that person is trying to send you a sign or give u the notion that he/she wants a change in life and you are not necessarily apart of that change. People can only do what you allow them to do and if you allow them to run over you or make a fool of you or even present a picture of them having you wrapped around their pinky finger, then guess what….THEY WILL CONTINUE TO DO THESE THINGS WITHOUT ANY TYPE OF REMORSE!!!

Girls indeed play games in relationships no matter how much they love and care for you. But some games chicks play go beyond the limitation of a TRUE loving relationship. If someone so called really care about you then they want the best for you. Love is KIND! I know that things are not supposed to be all peachy clean but things do get to that breaking point and when it gets there it has to be a 50/50 effort to get past it. When new situations began to arise and you are the victim not the criminal, it is time to LET GO! There is no justification or excuse to be mistreated! If the person you have professed your love to publically and privately begins to do things out of the norm such as numerable cheatings acts or anything that is shameful to tell a third party, then maybe that person has already began a new life and is just giving you reasons to call it quits….(games) the best game a chick or guy can put on is the upfront game cause he or she is letting you know everything that is going on but at the same time not stopping the side piece action! So for that person, everything is cool because they “did the right thing” by making you aware of the wrong actions but who is to say that the wrong actions are going to stop as a result of you knowing?!?! Them not having anything to hide only allows them to sleep better but oh well for your sleep cause that person still doing their own thing without any regard to your feelings!

Then that person hits you with the “but YOU did this” or “what about that time YOU” type of stuff. This in turn makes you feel bad and that is when you excuse such behavior from him or her because the wrong you did surfaces once again! But my main thing is this {{{love is not sufficient if BOTH parties are doing things that can most definitely be under the title of cheating}}} obviously the happiness that was once there is only sparked at certain times and remnants of the past can produce that smile that you once couldn’t get OFF your face. Rather you decide to face reality or not, you both have found happiness elsewhere. The time needed to mend and rebuild what WAS, is too extensive due to the fact that in the time used to repair; feelings for whomever else have already grown! The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Clearly you must be insane to keep trying to put the pieces to the puzzle back together knowing it’s a 100 count and you only have 78 pieces to work with!! Maybe you are better off without each other than being together under conditions that include arguing constantly, attitude changes when the person comes around, lying when the truth is too much to handle, and going to sleep thinking about someone else >lol…killer<> Basically you both are looking for an outlet to escape the sad reality of what once was but when the outlet becomes available it becomes easier to blame each other than to accept things as they are clearly given to you! You can love someone and be apart from them. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that you have to be with each other. Love is definitely not the super glue to relationships. It has to be more!

Moral of the blog>>>>LET IT GO!

The Hangover

FYI....this movie was frickin hilarious!!!!

First Ultrasound

So I've been doing window shopping just to see what the stores have to offer for my little one, not knowing what I'm actually having yet. Girls have a huge selection in all colors and their section is so adorable. Boys on the other hand have a small selection and everything has animals on it....{boring} I want to have a girl so I can play house, dress up, have tea parties, and be at her dance recitals....oh and I want to adorn her in princess attire and accessories....the cutest stuff ever. Well God heard my prayers cause after having my first ultrasound yesterday, IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!! yay!!! She is going to be mommy's and daddy's little princess! =) Christianah Sincere Jonas

The Baby Kicks

Soooo, this pregnancy thing has really been a precious moment in time for me. I must say that the simplest thing makes me all emotional. The first time I heard the baby's heartbeat, I cried. Every time I look down and only see stomach and thighs, I cry. {that's not a happy cry though...lol} I have yet to receive an ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby, but the most precious thing has been going on....that little offspring of mine is kicking!!! I mean the baby has got to be doing somersaults or something. It is sooooo adorable. =) My boyfriend finds it rather intriguing as he holds his hand on my belly puts his ear to it asking the baby "what are you doing in there? kick daddy's ear!" I have the feeling this motherhood thing is going to be a joy after all.

Russel Simmons

I AM NOT SURE IF I'M TRIPPIN OR MAYBE IF I'M ACTUALLY LATE BUT DOES RUSSEL SIMMONS HAVE A LISP??!?!? THIS COMMERCIAL ABOUT THE RUSH CARD, CHARGE CARD....WHATEVER....MAKES IT SOOOO NOTICEABLE!

Me or The Fellas

I honestly have a great boyfriend which most chicks would dream about or can only fathom on paper. He will make to be a great father and much more. He is going to hate me for this one, but....lately, I have been feeling like I am competing with his friends. Don't get me wrong because I am a very understanding, caring, and trusting girlfriend but, I am not liking the time he spends with them.

It is difficult to like the friends he hangs with because he tells me what type of people they are. Just know, you probably don't want your little brother, cousin, and definitely not your man hanging with them. Well it sucks because just as much as I don't want him around them, they don't want me around at all. This is fine because I am not trying to be "one of the guys" but when I'm chosen AFTER them is when the problem arises.....

I proud myself on my ability to let ish go and keep it moving but I can't shake this thing. It's understandable if you and your dudes want to do "dude" things and no women allowed. I respect that. I know you have to let a man be a man! But I do feel like you have to stand up for your woman at some point and make ya boys realize that the two of you are a unit. Just because they choose not to have me around doesn't make me disappear from his life.

I am not blaming his friends for not wanting me around but I do feel like my man has to take some authority and speak up for me! It has been times when it would have been nice with "just us girls" but I had to let my friends know that my man was coming along as well. They had to accept it and move on. Why can't I get the same treatment from him???

I love him, I do; but it has come to the point where he has to decide if it is going to be me or the fellas....

Why Don't Men Get Tested?

So as I have grown and matured, I have realized that men (especially black men) do not believe in getting tested. This whole idea puzzles me because your health should be very important to you. Sexually transmitted diseases are REAL. Nobody is invincible! I asked several college males about this and the answers for not getting tested were the furthest from smart!

1) Men don't get tested because they don't want people to see them in the clinic or wherever they may be testing. WHAT????????? That makes no sense. You should be proud to be getting yourself checked out and not sitting around with a dick that's slowly falling off. lol

2) Men don't get tested because they are too much of cowards to know the truth. They rather be sick and infected than to KNOW they are sick and infected. Crazed idea but so true. Women also are scared but most value themselves way too much to live in ignorance. Indeed, I was scared sitting in Kaiser Permanente the first time I got tested, but I DID IT.

3) Men don't get tested because they HONESTLY don't think they can catch anything. HA! One of the biggest cases of ignorance known to mankind. These dudes really feel like the girls they have sex with have flawless pussy. Yeah, girls may think they don't have nothing, but they probably do!

4) Men don't get tested because they claim they don't want to have to beat nobody's ass for giving them something. *YOU STUPID FOOL* Doctors can't tell you who transmitted the disease to who...They can only tell you that you got it and your partner may have it as well so please tell them to get tested also.

The bottom line is, our black men need to get their ish checked out. It's not cute and it's a safety hazard because you put your dick in one girl, and she sleeps with another dude. Then the cycle continues. PLEASE GET TESTED.

It Takes So Much

*all feelings expressed are real, but not necessarily MINE*

So today after I saw the look in your eyes after you looked into mine, I realized it takes so much.

It takes so much to walk away from you as if your place in my life is minimal.

It takes so much not to scream at people through a bull horn just how much I love you.

It takes so much not to walk up to every person I see and tell them about the text messages you sent me last night.

It takes so much not to tweet about the phone call I received from you this morning, as you expressed your love and affection for me

It takes so much to settle for a "church hug" when I really want to hold you tight and not let go

It takes so much to ignore the butterflies I get when I see your smile

It takes so much not to part your lips with my tongue and taste your nectar

I guess it wouldn't take so much if I wasn't another man's woman and you weren't another woman's man.

You should be mine.

Mr. Radio

There is a song by Chrisette Michele titled Mr. Radio and it speaks sooo much truth. So many time I have found the lyrics of my heart through music. That's why I love music and appreciate the mere essence of it. Rather it be Gospel, R&B, Rap, or any other genre....I find myself lost in the words of the artist. I have no clue where I would be without music.

Scapegoats

Many people go through many things in life and I believe they should use those things to build their character and learn from them. This is purely personal opinion and I cant tell people how to live their lives nor how to view their lives. I am not one to judge whatsoever because I am not innocent by far. Yet, I do have a strong opinion when people try to use tragic or drastic happenings in their life in order to compensate and justify their present actions.

In no way am I undermining the severity of single parent homes, rape, molestation, etc. But when people use these circumstances to justify their actions which are knowingly wrong and unaccepted, I get angry.

Too many times I have heard people excuse their promiscuous ways because they have endured some type of sexual assault. I think this entire thought is ludicrous. Being raped and/or molested is not a good feeling. I know both acts first hand from a very young age. Afterwards, I had no desire to be with a man because I was violated by one. To be a whore and feel addicted to sex is not a product of rape and molestation. I feel like people just use that as a scapegoat, when in actuality their is no justification for being a whore>no matter the gender.

I am also a product of a single parent home, and in no way am I dependent on a man for anything. My mother is a strong woman and because I was raised by her only, it makes me want to be just as strong. When girls use the fact that either their mother or father was absent from the home as an excuse to "find love in all the wrong places" is beyond me.

As I stated, people should use the challenges they have faced and treat them as learning experiences. You owe it to yourself to not allow life's ups and downs to be the downfall of who you are today. Every experience is a molding one, but the choice to allow it to be a positive mold or a negative mold, lies completely on you!

Baby Names A-Z

Female:

Arianna or Alice >>sounds like {Uh-lease}
Brenaya or Brook
Christianah or Camille
Deriah
Euneke>> sounds like Unique
Fateelah
Gabriella
Hollie
Isabella
Jamea>>sounds like {Juh-Me-Uh} or Jamie
Kaylie or Kamira
Love or Lenee/Lanay>>sounds like Renee with a L
Mikayla or Melody or Melanie
Nevaeh
Olivia
Paige
Queenay/Queenie/Queenai>>sounds like {Kween-nay}
Raia>>sounds like {Ray-yah}
Sinaya or Sincere
Tanaja>>sounds like {Ta-Nay-Sha}
Uriah
Vinaya or Venetia
Wilma
Xena
Yashauna
Zenobia or Zentavia



Male

Anthony
Brandon or Benjamin
Cortez
Demario
Emmanuel
Franklin
Gerald
Hollis
Ilijah
Jerron or Jamison
Khaleel
Lee
Malik or Maleik
Neil
Omar or Orlando
Patrick
Quintez
Rashaad
Stephan>>sounds like {Stef-fun}
Tramelle
Umar or Umarison
Vince
William
Xilo
York
Zaraad

Now is your chance to give me your input on names you may hate or any suggestions! Accept all criticisms!

Just Be Real

Why is it that people feel like they cant be straight forward from the beginning! I am one who desires the stink, dirty, and nasty truth before a little white lie! I find it intriguing if a person tells me what they want from the top and doesn't shade or "behind-the-bush" anything.

A lot of girls know they only want sex or whatever materials you can afford. They simply play the "oh-I-really-like-you" role long enough to the satisfaction desired until they are moving on to what's better and more importantly, NEXT.

Of course there are those dudes who are in it to hit and quit but although most females try to act surprised, they probably knew this was the case before they allowed themselves to play victim! My thing is, a lot of time could be preserved if people would simply put the cards ON the table instead of UNDER it from jump street!

Let the person know your REAL desires and intentions before someone actually gets hurts in the long run. It saves time and hearts! We are in a recession; everything needs to be preserved. haha!

Keep It Movin

What do you do when your heart beats for two? Do you choose the one you love or the one who loves you?

This is mostly for my ladies but I'm sure my fellas can feel me on this as well. It's crazy how much you THINK you are over a person and then they show up with "that other girl/guy". Your whole world goes dumb as you start to remember all the good times you shared. You actually realize how much of your heart that person really has. It's even crazier because you have suppsedly moved on yourself!

But does a person ever really stop loving?? I think not. I believe that all loves are different and cant be compared to each other. You don't stop loving, rather you take the dedication to move on. So again I ask, what is a person to do when love is telling them to go back with that "old guy/girl" but the future looks brighter with that "new-new"?

Do you give up on what you have and go back to what you had? People are in your life for a season and to go back and try to reestablish what WAS is insane. So I say, pick up the dusty pieces to your life and keep it moving!

Don't miss out on your blessing because you too busy playing on the Devil's playground. =) Embrace the fact that yes, you love them, but it's a reason why the two of you are no longer ONE.

Cupid, Oh Cupid...

So Happy Late Valentine's Day to everyone. I hope you enjoyed yourself thoroughly as I did. I came to a clear realization this Valentine's weekend. That whole lovey dubby thing is so not worth it. Don't get me wrong but I didn't do the "norm" for Valentine's Day but I am sure that the quality time I spent with my boyfriend was much more valued and appreciated than the girl who got taken out on that "special date" and the girl who got the atmosphere SET just right for SEX. All the money that was spent on meaningless gifts and one track dates were incomparable to the simple kiss I received when it was indeed, Valentine's Day.

The look in my boyfriend's eye was priceless when I told him how much I truly cared and didn't want a fancy dinner to prove his love for me. I wanted to order in something and watch movies. Actually spend time together and talk....sex will come.

The laughs, million of hugs, cuddling, and innumerable kisses were insurmountable to any gift that he has ever given me. So for the years to come, I no longer expect a fancy date or a fancy gift. I just want the love and attention from my lover knowing that sex wont be the highlight of the night. The time we share is all we need!

FYI: I did get a teddy bear and a new digital camera....didnt want you to think my boyfriend is a cheap ass! lol

Sex Partners

So many times I have asked both sexes "How many partners are TOO many partners?" Other than the initial response of ONE....people usually say they dont know... So I would just like to know the answer with a well thought out response. I know in high school I would always think that males shouldnt go over 50 and females shouldnt go over 5. I have no idea what kind of ratio I was working with but that was my thought pattern.

As I started growing up I realized that my female number was not realistic by far. Females have gone above and beyond 5 and lots dont even know an actual number, rather a range. They find the idea of keep tracking "childish" and "novice". WHAT?!?! Where have the standards gone???

Males pride themselves in multiple partners and think it's cute not to have an actual number. (SMH)

My personal opinion of a female number that is too large would definitely have to be anything more than 2 boys per year. For example if a girl has been active for 3 years, she should not have had sex with over 6 dudes...Is that too many? Please somebody let me know!

Dirty Double Standard

Girls always question why can guys do certain things but girls cant. The main point being "How come if a dude puts his penis inside anything with a hole, he's a pimp, but if a girl let's any dude get inside her, she is a whore.

No, I may not have the answer to this question but I think my opinion is valid. I believe the female is more sacred and valuable than the male species. I am not bashing fellows, but be serious about it! Girls are da ish! *no homo* We have the key to everything in the world and corporate America just puts you in high position because a female in such a high place causes major intimidation.

Females are supposed to be respected and treated as a hidden treasure. Purity is always valued in a woman more so than a man. To my ladies, I know we always say "I want a man who knows what he is doing." You can't find this in a male who hasnt "been around the block". Dont get me wrong. I am not saying that male sluts are more desireable than a man of good moral standing. I am saying that one with experience who isnt heartless is preferable in most cases.

To my fellas, I didnt forget yall either. I know how much more fun and attractive it is for a girl to be chaste. No one wants a old and worn out, flabby, already elastic vagina to insert their manhood. You want something that makes you feel good instead of making you feel small cuz the poor girl cant feel a thing. >LOOSE< And you definitely cant fault the man who has "it" being thrown at him left and right. Males are weaker mentally and their flesh as well. Females have been blessed with the power to say no. The option is always clear whereas males may feel like the women have given them NO CHOICE! I love yall! I'm Out!

Y U C K Y

So it's 2:23 am and I can't even think about sleeping right now because as the saying goes "the weight of the world is on my shoulders". For the past three months I have been making some of the dumbest decisions. Well tonight I finally got my long awaited reality check.

#1 My sister is ALWAYS there for me, although her unintentional bitchy ways can totally turn me off and give off the wrong vibe. She loves me for who I am and has manged to keep all my secrets no matter what. I have no clue where I would be without that girl. Needless to say, I called her with tears streaming down my face only an hour prior to this time. Life without my sis is Y U C K Y.

#2 I can do without my "friends" here in Daytona. That may sound so harsh but lately I have found myself trying to mold and shape them into the friends I have back home. The reality is THEY WILL NEVER BE MY BEST FRIENDS AND AS OF NOW THEY WILL NEVER LOVE AND UNDERSTAND ME AS MY BESTIES BACK HOME HAVE. The whole idea is superficial and I was way MORE than naive to think they could ever be an equivalent substitution for my GIRLS. Thought pattern is Y U C K Y.

#3 My boyfriend loves me more than I could ever explain to the person looking at me in the mirror. He goes to great ends for me and {most} times does it without complaint. No matter how much bull shit I throw his way, he manages to keep his cool and give me that security I need every time he says "I love you". For the first time in my life, I feel like I NEED a person to survive. That person being my angel, best friend, confidant, pride, and the love of my life-my boyfriend. Me not appreciating him as I should is Y U C K Y.

#4 Above all I can only be ME! This portion of my reality check is soooo needed. I have found myself too many times to count, in the appeasing seat and second placing my feelings for others. I refuse to suppress Fancy B any longer. I am who God created me to be and that is something I am very proud of. Everything else and everyone else must wait because I come before all in {MY} world. Me thinking I could change for others was Y U C K Y.

I guess you can say, I have come to my senses. My duty now is to make sure that I hold on to these truths and embrace them with love. My life will no longer be Y U C K Y. I'm taking it ALLLLLLLL back. =)

Same Sex Marriage

I have a friend whom I have had the privilege of growing up with since 4th grade. She has always worn the title of flirtatious and was slated for the superlative in our senior year of high school. She was one was always willing to try sexual acts with any dude that looked like he had it going on. The term that most considered her was "hoe" or "whore". But friendship lasts through thick and thin. I never judged her lifestyle although I never condoned it as well. Big shocker came when this friend of mine revealed that she was gay in summer of 08. No one could understand how such a promiscuous girl could be gay. Just as she took her heterosexuality to the edge, she has done the same with her homosexuality.

Her and girlfriend, who is also a friend of mine, have a pretty decent relationship. They are so engulfed with love and cant seem to get enough of each other. They have expressed their love for each other in huge monetary forms and even huger non-monetary forms. You would view them as the perfect lesbian couple. They do basically everything together and her girlfriend has managed to even take my place on many occasions as the best friend.

While sitting down one evening with the two of them, I began to ask questions about their relationship. I asked them how far did they see themselves going and I was utterly disgusted when my friend of 12 years told me "I am going to marry a man and she will just be my mistress." Both smiled in concurrence with the statement as I sat baffled and dismayed. I couldn't believe my friend was preparing to cheat on her husband with a woman ALREADY. How can one be so ignorant? My next question was well if you love each other so much, why wont you two just get married. They both just snickered as if I was the dumb one in the situation. I got a response later stating that "Two women aren't supposed to get married."

Well, they got me there! I am in no way against same sex marriage but I do have Christian values which believe that God put man on earth for a woman, not another man. I snickered back at the two as I realized how stupid they sounded. Since you know that MARRIAGE isn't made for two women or two men, why do you to continue on in a RELATIONSHIP in the same forbidden manner? One cannot possibly believe that God would be okay with the homosexual dating, but not okay with homosexual marriage. It's either all or none!

I'm sure there are those who probably have a long list of reasons WHY same sex marriage should be allowed. My only justification for such an act is the idea of freedom. People should be able to whatever they want to do. So if marrying the same sex makes you happy, GO FOR IT!

Pretty for a Dark Skin Girl

It never ceases to amaze me how far the black culture has not come.

Growing up as a child, I remember being teased and taunted because of my "dark skin and big lips". I would go home in tears and a heart encumbered with confusion and hurt not knowing why I was not accepted as my peers were. My mother would always comfort me with words of wisdom as she would affirm me that I was indeed beautiful. She would always remind me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in Christ. Although these words did serve as comfort and appeased my sadness, I was still lost and fearful of continuing another day with peers who judged and disrespected me.



Instead of embracing my dark skin and big lips, I grew to believe that my color was ugly and not preferred over a person with lighter skin. I became envious of those with lighter skin because in my eyes they were pretty and had access to all the things I wanted. I remember thinking how unfair God had been to me for giving me the tainted skin and blessing those around me with such a "beautiful color". I stopped doing outdoor activities to ensure that my complexion stayed as it was with no chance of getting darker. I was ashamed of myself and was still searching for an answer as to why people who were a shade or two lighter than me, called me names such as, "darky" and "blacky".



Today, as I have aged many years, I still see the same type of ignorant behavior within my race. People who are of a lighter complexion (especially girls) consider themselves amongst the elite and superior to those of a dark complexion. I am aware that not ALL have this mindset but the thought has plagued too many to name a few. I have encountered many who have even went so far to say "I'm not black! I'm light skin!". This boggled my mind to even fathom thought that people have set themselves apart as a race because of different shades of skin! It angers me to hear such things on my college's campus. I can't seem to understand why there is such a clear separation over dark and light skin. We are human which means we are all the same. No color is greater than the other!

I am proud to be of a darker complexion, simply because that's the way God made me and He meant things to be that way. Who am I to complain??? Yet it still gets deep under my skin when I hear someone say, "You sure are pretty for a dark skin girl." Immediately, anger begins to surface as I think over the statement quietly. What does that mean? Is that to say that every girl that is light skin is pretty? Is there ever a declaration that "She sure is ugly for a light skin girl."? Who put the measure of beauty on a skin tone? It angers me. Why can't I just be pretty? Why does my skin tone have anything to do with it? Is there a limit of beauty I can have because my skin is dark? Are my looks incomparable to a female of light skin?

The answers are absurd! It makes no sense whatsoever. I call the thought interracial racism. That is what I feel it is! It is pure discrimination and the language should be obsolete. Yet, "my people" will never be able to handle such a task. It is much easier to separate than it is to unite. So please, before you give a compliment to a female whose skin is dark, leave the extra unnecessary add-ons such as "for a dark skin girl" in the small brain that concocted that thought.

Love Letter

Dear Love:

You got a lot of nerve to show your face around here again cause see the last time I let you in, you took me so fast and so fast was the end

It seems as if you don’t like me and you try to spite me and I just want you to wife me and see what could and might be

But you seem to have other plans and I’m always blinded by your “caring” hands and that internal feeling when my heart begins to dance

But the rhythm that we start on is never the ending song but always gloomy and far gone from what we promised to each other on

Love, your audacity, and tenacity that only seems to have elasticity when you have the intentional capacity to see how much you can hurt me

Yeah love, I vividly, and clearly, and distinctly, and wholeheartedly remember how you did me and how left me swiftly

The many nights I depended on Mr. Radio to play a song or two about me and you to quiet my tears and calm my fears, Love

Love, where were you when I needed you? I cried out for you but the only thing that remained true is that it was you

It was you Love that turned your back on me, and left me on bended knee, only to face reality that hating you was not a good strategy

But why not hate you Love? You made me cry and made me want to die even after I gave you a second and third try

You still left me weeping when I should have been sleeping instead tears were steadily seeping and you were out creeping when it was me you should have been keeping

Love you couldn’t be my protector because it was your nectar that was the connector to the pain I felt, but

You see I learned from you. I learned that they’re two sides of you. Selfishly, you only let me see side A but selflessly, I peeked at side B

A being the Alright side and B being the Better side and I’m sure you know in which I put my pride and which I chose to truly confide

Yeah Love, the last time you left I gave up on seeing you once more but now I see what your cruelty was for

See if I didn’t see your horrible days, these happiness-uncontrollable days would not even begin to put me in that daze that I get from your tender ways

Yes Love, I thought you and I were done with but I see now that was just a crazy myth like me telling people my last name is smith

But you and I both know my last name is Battle and the crazy thought of me ever being done with you must skedaddle

This time I’m glad you came with good intentions cause now when I’m fussing and bitching, Love you are still sufficient to keep me as the beneficent

All the times before you treated me as your whore cause you pimped me and skimped me of my emotions and gave me ice as a devastating demotionI’m glad you’re back my friend.

But just what do you intend? Will you and I proceed to contend? Face to face, side by side to continue the race? But what happens when you decide to leave without a trace, again?